The ugly reality of my own self pity party

 I had the privilege to help at a soup kitchen along the Naples coast recently, a short experience that is certainly hard to quantify or explain, not in the objectives but in the soft aspects. In writing a paper about my experience i had many a moments of self reflection. Looking back on my self and comparing my perception of reality with the truth of it. 

And what is the truth of it? 

The truth of it is that im a lazy, spoiled, self interested, sorry excuse of a man. I realized that all the things i complain about are not only rather mundane but in fact privileges of their own. 

How many times I've complained about a early rise for work not realizing that work is a privilege. 

Complained about a large load of school work not recognizing the truly rare thing it is to go to college when you look at the whole history of the world, and even the current era. 

All the times I complained about my overbearing parents not believing that their overly caring attitude was a blessing. 

I hate the idea that "We learn more from those that we help than they do from us" even in this instance I cannot say I learned anything. Rather, what i already knew was forced before me in a way i could not ignore. 

What was gained is less than what was lost. I lost my stomach for self pity, and gained a greater respect for those who never have to reflect as i have, as they are better than I.